注册 登录
美国中文网首页 博客首页 美食专栏

水的清香 //www.sinovision.net/?85062 [收藏] [复制] [分享] [RSS] 人生如水,流到哪里,看到哪儿的风景。

分享到微信朋友圈 ×
打开微信,点击底部的“发现”,
使用“扫一扫”即可将网页分享至朋友圈。

餐馆里的“7Habits”:H5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

已有 2306 次阅读2011-10-17 14:52 分享到微信

Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be   Understood

Habit 5 is about the “action” needed for the Public Victory.

This Habit has 2 parts:

                  1. Seek First to Understand,

                  2. Then to Be Understood.

. A Mediocre Manager holds the Paradigm:

I listen so that I can give my opinion. I am a problem solver.

Nore: In this paradigm, we are thinking of our response as we listen to others instead of really trying to understand the other person.

. An Effective Manager holds the Paradigm:

I listen so that I can understand the other person. I take the time to understand the real issues so that I can give effective feedback.

Note: In this paradigm, we are setting aside our opinions so that we can really hear and feel what is being said.

Manager is paid to solve problems and make decisions: that’s why we have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things. But, we often fail to take the time to diagnose---to really, deeply understand the problem first. The highly effective Manager seeks first to understand, then to be understood.

Empathetic Listening

One of the biggest mistakes we when listening to others is using our own experiences and opinions as a way to communicate. This is called “responding from our own autobiographies.”

Instead of listening and responding based on our own point of view, we should practice empathic listening.

Empathic Listening is:

. Saying what a person feels and says in your own words. IT IS NOT: giving advice, solving a problem, fixing, changing, judging, agreeing, questioning or analyzing.

The key to empathic listening is being SINCERE in wanting to listen to the feelings, needs, ect. of the other person. To listen empathically means to listen with your HEART!

Empathetic listening should be used when:

. There is a lot of emotion

 You want to get the “real” issue

. You don’t understand

. The other person does not feel that you understand

Do’s and Don’ts of Empathic Listening

Do

. Reflect Content: put the meaning of the person’s words in your own words. “So you’re saying…

. Reflect Feeling: Concentrate and rephrase how the person is feeling: “ You’re frustrated about…”

Don’t

 . Judge: Agree or disagree with how the person is feeling.

                         “I agree with you.”

. Probe: Ask questions from your point of view.

                         So you want to quit, is that it?”

. Advise: Give solutions. “If I were you, I would…”

“When I ask you to listen and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen; not talk or do--- just hear me”. ----Ralph Roughton, M. D.

Speaking Empathetically:

Helpful Language to Get You Started:

As I get it, you feel…

So as you see it…

You seem…

You must have felt…

You sound…

What I’m hearing is…

I’m not sure I’m with you, but…

Your feeling now is…

Tips:

Focus on the speaker, not your “correct” response to the speaker.

 If you get stuck, just repeat what the speaker says. If you are sincerely trying to understand, you won’t be perceived as being manipulative.

Don’t be afraid of silence. Sometimes just listening and saying nothing is the best way to get to the heart of an issue.

Taking the time to understand someone can affect your own message. You may change your idea because you have a new understanding about the other person.

The key to being understood is to understand the needs of the other person first. If you incorporate the feelings of the other person into your own message, you will find that you are more likely to get the results that you want.

When you are not getting the results that you want in a conversation, try Empathic Listening. Then say your thoughts based on what is important to the other person.

感悟1:Empathetic Listening 也很适用于同孩子的交流里。但对于中国父母来说是门比较难修的课。










鸡蛋

鲜花

握手

雷人

路过

发表评论 评论 (4 个评论)

回复 KQRBNP 2011-11-4 14:46
To: 水香 你曾经说:
谢谢您的Positive feedback。感谢Stephen Covey写这本书,感谢Panda Express的Owner Andrew让他的一千多家店的经理们必读此书,并根据餐馆的具体情况给经理们脱产洗三天脑(Workshop),让7Habit溶在每个人的血液里。
也謝謝你在這裡傳播這些好的理念。
回复 水香 2011-11-4 10:30
To: KQRBNP 你曾经说:
把这个H5好好地多读了几遍。深感自己在这一点上做得很不够。 很多时候虽会注意不用自己的观点去judge别人,但还不能够做到empathetic地倾听和理解。嘿嘿,有些时候自己都会觉得自己的回答很cold,却自以为是地认为是必要的理智。 学习了。
谢谢您的Positive feedback。感谢Stephen Covey写这本书,感谢Panda Express的Owner Andrew让他的一千多家店的经理们必读此书,并根据餐馆的具体情况给经理们脱产洗三天脑(Workshop),让7Habit溶在每个人的血液里。
回复 KQRBNP 2011-10-18 18:21
把这个H5好好地多读了几遍。深感自己在这一点上做得很不够。 很多时候虽会注意不用自己的观点去judge别人,但还不能够做到empathetic地倾听和理解。嘿嘿,有些时候自己都会觉得自己的回答很cold,却自以为是地认为是必要的理智。 学习了。
回复 KQRBNP 2011-10-17 16:57
你这一系列的7 habits 非常好!虽然你讲的是餐馆里的,我觉得在很多场合下好像都适用。谢谢你的分享!

facelist

您需要登录后才可以评论 登录 | 注册

 留言请遵守道德与有关法律,请勿发表与本文章无关的内容(包括告状信、上访信、广告等)。
 所有留言均为网友自行发布,仅代表网友个人意见,不代表本网观点。

关于我们| 节目信息| 反馈意见 | 联系我们| 招聘信息| 返回手机版| 美国中文网   

©2019  美国中文网 Sinovision,Inc.  All Rights Reserved. TOP

回顶部